Murray’s Best Friend

A long time ago, in a faraway land, their lived a dinosaur named Pinky. Pinky was not like the other dinosaurs. His body was different. The other dinosaurs were very big. Pinky was about the size of a dog. The other dinosaurs had rough skin. Pinky had fur like a dog. The other dinosaurs roamed free. Pinky was sometimes on a leash and when he wasn’t, he liked to play fetch. While the other dinosaurs were eating leaves from the tops of trees, Pinky would often find himself humping the leg of a nearby troglodyte.

Being different like this confused Pinky. He felt like he didn’t fit in. The other dinosaurs were kind enough, but everyone noticed the elephant in the room. Knowing he didn’t belong with the others, Pinky left his homeland and took to the sea, floating on a raft he made from sticks he had fetched over the years.

After a day and a half at sea, Pinky saw a small island on the horizon. He stuck his malformed and misshapen front dinosaur legs in the water and used them to paddle the raft toward the island. What he found when he made land would change his life forever.

Standing there on the shore was an accountant named Murray. Murray had also left his native homeland because he was different from the other accountants. You see, Murray had a wonderful personality. This was so strange in his native land, a place called Debentureville, that he was ostracized and eventually left, just like Pinky.

Soon, Pinky and Murray became best friends. They were inseparable, mainly because there was nobody else to hang out with, but also because they accepted each other at face value. There were no prejudices or expectations. Murray could freely discuss interesting topics like art and music and not get the blank stares he was so accustomed to. And Pinky could lick his genitalia without being laughed at by the other dinosaurs.

As the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into years, Pinky and Murray grew in affection for each other. About five years after Pinky’s arrival (which, strangely felt like 35 years to Pinky), he got worms and died. Murray was sad, but that same day he was discovered by a Coast Guard helicopter. Back in Debentureville, he learned to tone down his personality. Eventually, he forgot about Pinky.

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